(Why?) Thrifting Saves Personal Style From Going Down the Fashion Drain…Avoiding Fashion Nova

I think if you follow any bloggers these days you know that a ton are both fashion and style bloggers. But if you’re surfing for inspiration, it can be hard to decide what works for your wardrobe and what is just the white noise of the blogging world/pure entertainment. I remember even before I ventured into blogging my personal style, I used to see tons of pictures that showed fresh and new ideas, takes and angles on fashion and style.

As of recent, I can’t say that I really see anything that inspires me in the style/fashion blogging world anymore. It seems everyone is following each other’s lead, without even considering whether their wardrobe choice fits their personal style. This honestly makes everyone look redundant so to speak, with no bravery to veer off the mainstream path. I can’t say that I haven’t decided to ride the wave a couple of times but I quickly learned from my horrible mistake of second guessing myself! That being the case, what keeps others from truly identifying their personal style? Currently, everything sold in stores seems to push the “let’s all look alike” trend. Every store has all the trendy pieces and although you can still find classic and eclectic pieces, you won’t be noticed much if you’re not wearing and further exaggerating the current trends…or will you?

Probably a year ago, I vowed to thrift less and devote more time to grabbing newer, contemporary pieces. Well, rebuilding my staple closet pieces has been going well. Staying true to me? That’s been a little more difficult. Not because I am aiming to appear popular and poppin like those bloggers that mimick the Kardashian style but because the retail stores don’t have the variations of pieces that allow true style. My closet isn’t skimpy by any means but I purge and rotate frequently to keep my wardrobe refreshed, functional and age appropriate. When I’m looking to re-up on some things, I almost have to thrift for quality and options. At least I have more money left for savings while maintaining my sense of individual style and taste right?

The fact of the matter is that when buying clothes, quality is just as important as style. I’ve ventured into fast fashion myself and I can tell you that fast fashion is another name for throw away clothing. I recall putting on a dress and putting a hole in it. Smh, such a shame as I had no nails, not that that should have mattered anyway eye roll. I don’t even label clothing like that “pieces” because they really don’t add anything to a wardrobe. At the thrift stores, it’s completely possible to find quality pieces…even those that are on trend.

Vintage also provides uniqueness and quality on a budget without looking cheap, dated, or unpolished. Even though some boutiques offer polished wardrobe pieces, the quality is just not there. Generally, you’d have to spend major bucks to get a sturdy quality made blazer in a feminine silhouette at the department store. Try thrifting, often times you can find those blazers for about 95% off the original price! Of course you don’t have to buy designer pieces specifically, I don’t…but I recommend that you search for quality while searching for your style. This shouldn’t be hard since most times the fast fashion pieces never hold up long enough to even make it to the thrift store lol. Trends are are always revolving so thrifting allows you to find trendy pieces on a dime as well. These trendy pieces you can keep because the quality keeps on giving!

Tip:

Just like you would any department stores, hunt for your treasure! Be sure to visit various thrift stores in your area and in the surrounding area. Also, if you go traveling out of town, check out the stores in that area. Different climates and areas breed different styles and availability of trendy pieces. Use coupons and ask if there’s a mailing list to receive them. For online thrifting, check Etsy and Ebay…just remember not to pay retail prices for thrift items online! Have fun and be stylish!

Why I Needed a Blogging & Social Media Break…

I swear I never thought I’d get back to the point of being excited about blogging again. Quite frankly, blogging had become more of a chore and pretty much a bore…no “bars” intended lol.

If you’re a blogger of any kind, I think you can probably relate to how ruthless the blogging world can be. Since I hate drama and am content in my own little bubble, putting myself “out there” got me more than I bargained for. I expected more comraderary from fellow bloggers but ya’ll competition is real out here…even if you’re not competing. I won’t spend much more time on that negativity but to say with real things going on in life, I couldn’t fathom letting trivial bits of pettiness and mean girl personas to move me in any way. I had to focus on getting me back to my best self.

In the midst of blogging, I think I neglected myself more than I realized. Truth is, I neglected myself a ton! I spent a lot of time researching info, growing my Instagram and social media influence and that left little time to really take care of me. I’ve talked about some health issues I have before and not putting myself first was having a negative effect on those pre-existing issues. The oxymoron of it all is that all you saw was me writing about what I was wearing, my skin, my self care solutions. Sadly, I let…myself…go.

As if my own self sabatoge wasn’t enough, our family suffered a few losses last year. One loss this year. Yes I said a few and then one. Mentally, everyone who loses a loved one needs time to reflect and gather themselves to be emotionally fit to move forward. That’s just reality. When you have children, you need more time because children need consoling and nurturing. Ours (hubby’s and mine) are at the age where they are “aware” and have questions, legit ones, about the situation surrounding the death. After they are “okay”, us parents need to usher into self care.

I’m currently on that journey of self care. I suffered extreme hair loss, skin flare ups of all kinds including hives, acne and eczema, headaches, joint and muscle pain and more things that I’ll not have to mention because the above is enough. I had to get these things in order and fast! To resolve these issues calls for more than just some sort of salve or serum. Deep research, medical help and just re-acquainting myself with my body again was essential. Now while I am still in process, I am discovering other fruits that need pruning or plucking from my life. Not that they’re necessarily bad but they provide no enrichment or “nutrition” to me as a person or to my life.

Folks…rid yourself of people, habits, so called goals, mindsets, platforms, loves and hates that don’t help you to be a better person. We grow physically but mental health and growth is just as important…actually more important. Social media is social. It’s not essential in order for us to survive. If IG was shut down for good, if YouTube was outlawed, where would that leave you? I had to ask myself if I was too deeply enthralled with something that encourages faux realities. I actually became a part of it. I looked like I took better care of myself that I actually did. That’s the long and short of it. And look, we all neglect ourselves from time to time but I was extreme. I saw problems and put them off making excuses of not having time. Buy out time. (I got that straight from the Bible lol.) It will cost time from something else but its worth it.

Where am I now? Well I am still a blogger and I have some posts that will be coming out but I am pacing myself. I don’t have to post a new look every day or every three days. I’ve decided on once per week. Maybe a lookbook in between. I’m working on my social media plan but it can not overtake my life. Perspective is important and I’ve put things in perspective.

That being said, I am working on some things that I will share a little later. Hopefully, you guys will be as excited as I am about them!

It’s Not All Black & Whiteย 

I’ve been (style) blogging for a little over a year now and I must say that I’ve experienced a lot of the unexpected. But then there are plenty everyday life situations that impact blogging more than you think. Before doing outfit of the day looks, I reviewed products I loved (and hated) as well as shared my thoughts on various other things. Because of that, my autoimmune disease never affected my ability to blog, at least not as much as it does now. 

I’m a fighter and survivor because life just refused to allow me to give up. That being said, I’ve been suffering with Hashimoto’s disease. An autoimmune disease where my body attacks my thyroid. Recently, this has wreaked havoc on my body. I’ve been on a long weight loss journey where I HAVE to work harder than the average person to lose weight (fat) because my body has a propensity to keep the weight on. This means a rigorous fitness routine and eating healthy at least 90% of the time. Currently I’m suffering from a severe case of edema. You probably can see my swollen feet lol. Well I’m not complaining, I’m merely sharing why I’ve not been able to post as often as I would like which is daily. Blogging isn’t “black and white”. You can’t throw up a look and think that’s all there is to it. That’s a message to myself. I am very serious about this blogging thing so ill or not, on with the show! Can’t wait to share some looks this week and weeks to come!!! Stay tuned!! 

By the way, if you are looking for some fabulous jewelry and accessories check out the link below and use “stylecake” for 10% off your purchase!! 

SHOP HERE FOR FAB JEWELRY! โค๏ธ

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Top: Urban Outfitters. Skirt: Forever 21. Handbag: H&M. Shoes: Chinese Laundry. Necklace: Aldo.

   

  

  

  

 

Smelling the Flowers (Blog Life Update)

Life is always sending us humans through unpredicted twists and turns and this can either make us happy or make us feel a host of negative emotions. I’ve had my own twists and turns lately that have limited the amount of posting that I have been able to offer on here. I thought it would be nice to offer you all that are apart of my blogging family a tiny explanation of what is new and going on.

So, if you haven’t noticed I am now in a new space on the internet (www.thestylecake.com). I have been doing so much to get this site up and running and it has not been easy. It has been almost a year in the making of research and reading so that I could build my website myself without the help of a professional. I’ve been quite frustrated with this site, with false starts and hopes and thinking that I would never be able to get it up. I am very proud of myself because after much trial, error and anguish, I have been able to get my site up and functioning. I still have some tweaking to do but overall, I am very proud of this blog’s new home. This allows me to work better with companies and have freedoms that I did not have before. That being said, lets talk the aspect of blogging…

I have been doing this blogging thing (other platforms included) for over 7 years. I’ve been on Blogspot and Blogger as well as WordPress. I’ve been on WordPress the longest and I absolutely love it! It’s definitely more complex than the other two platforms but it works better for me. 

While blogging, I’ve had the opportunity to “meet” other bloggers online as well as meeting some in my geographic area. While I have met some bloggers that are absolutely encouraging and positive, I have noticed that some are not so friendly. I must admit that it CAN totally be discouraging and disheartening. The reality of it for me is that I have real life going on while for some, their biggest problems are comparing their own “successes” to others. I once read that comparison is the thief of joy and that statement could not be more true! If you spend time worried about what any other blogger (or person for that matter) is doing then you miss the pleasures of blogging and the pleasures of life. I’ve also seen the lack of support from some of the other bloggers. Not just to me, but to other bloggers that I follow. It seems if a blogger seems more successful, some may get envious and refuse to offer the support they once had. Trying to dim the light of others will never make your light shine brighter. It’s nothing wrong with encouraging, uplifting and supporting others. 

This alone made me give a side eye and with real life going on at my house and I needed a minute from looking at the faces of some negative and envious people. I’ve noticed the buying of followers of some bloggers (or the copying of other blogger’s styles and looks) who in turn are angry about the success of those that work hard to move forward in their blogging careers, even accusing others of doing what they themselves have done. Smh. I just don’t have time for this nonsense. Throwing a tantrum because you view others as beneath you (and discounting THEIR hard work) despite their successes won’t change the fact that they work hard! Side note: People are drawn to VALUABLE content. 

I am a mom and wife before I am a blogger so I have lately had some twists and turns that I wasn’t expecting in life. If you guys only knew, smh. My husband (and photographer) has been my wonderful through all of life’s hiccups. I was taught, to never broadcast all of your family’s business as news. It’s never a good idea. So I tend to keep my Instagram and blog site all about business. I’ve set my blog a certain way. It is all about style (fashion) and lifestyle so I want to share with others how to do certain things, style concepts as well as sharing the things that I like and not wild shifts in emotions. Companies are definitely more drawn to practicality over personal feelings (that have nothing to do with fashion and style) if you catch my drift. 

I’ve worked hard to get my blog here, which I hardly view myself as a blogger with a vast audience or “following”. I have my own path and blogging style, I also work every single day. Blogging can’t be done in a casual way and get the results  of someone who works every day. Knowing this, I’ve been busting my rump in hopes of moving my train forward. I’m smelling the flowers sort to speak, going with the flow and accepting this process no matter how “slow”. 

The weather has infringed on my creativity because I’m not in the cooler weather mind frame. I’m ready for spring! I’ll be doing spring looks as soon as it feels spring but transitional looks in the meantime. If there’s something you’d like to see, let me know! I have more exciting news to share in the future, I hope that you all stick around to read it! 

Now back to blogging ๐Ÿ’‹….

   

  

  

   

 

Winter Blues & Plaids

So I think the past few months I have talked about winter so much we’re all tired of winter right? Lol. Well, I’m officially sick (no literally) of winter. Currently, I have an ear ache, sinus infection and a cold but I’m pushing through it. The light at the end of the tunnel is SPRING!!! In the meantime, I’ve become slightly uninspired due to not just the weather and the lingering on of winter but the current state of my health. This swinging weather of 60 degrees one day and 18 degrees with snow the next is very hard to plan by. Guys, I have so many looks lined up for warmer weather, I’m quite uninterested in dressing up to be cold. Regardless, tis life and I must dress for it.

I decided on this bold and colorful plaid poncho to be the “center” of my look. In true stylist fashion, I “thinga-ma-jigged” ย my poncho into a scarf instead. It’s still a poncho but it is much more cozy and beneficial as a scarf. My coat is of a faux wool/felt material. It honestly is a decently warm coat. It boasts an extra large collar that pretty much envelopes my upper half. I’m wearing fleece leggings. They are sooooo cozy and warm!!! My boots, you all have seen a number of times. They’re from Justfab’s Luxe line (now no longer) but there are similar styles on the market. Mine are genuine suede which I love. Since this look is cozy, I have a large handbag I purchased from H&M to store everything I need while out and about to make me comfortable in this cold. I opted for sunglasses because of the brightness of the snow. My accessories are minimal. Let me know what you think! How do you stay inspired in the long months of winter and when it’s cold?

Later Cupcakes!! โค๏ธ๐Ÿ’™

Boots: Justfab (similar here). Leggings: Gifted (similar here). Poncho/Scarf: Thrifted (similar here). Denim Blouse: Thrifted (similar here). Jewelry: Neon Wild & Layered Chains. Sunglasses: eBay. Bag: H&M (similar here).

Black Friday

So I apologize for the false alarm upload earlier, it was certainly a faux pas on my part. This post, like most posts on Fridays will be a very short post so that you can get off the internet and get the weekend started…*wink*

I have been enjoying the fall season because I love to wear dark colors. (In the winter I love pinks, whites, nudes, etc., but I digress.) Dark colorsย tend to be very seductive and mysterious for some reason. I wanted to wear all black but was going to go against that thought initially because I will be wearing all black again Saturdayย under a different setting. Who says that you can’t wear a lot of black two days in a row? Since it is causal Friday, I thought my very own “Black Friday” would be perfect.

I’ve been itching to wear my spiked Litas by Jeffrey Campbell for a couple of years now and I am finally pulling them out to play!! I love these booties, they’re so comfy and stylish. My mother calls them “Herman the Monster” shoes lol but I still think they are a perfect statement piece for a hot look. Very simply put, I wanted to be in all black so grabbed a basic tank from H&M and my ashy black cuffed shorts from Forever 21 over some decorative tights. I put them both together with my cardigan from Naked Wardrobe and a statement necklace from Aliexpress. I threw on an oversized cashmere houndstooth scarf to balance the look so it didn’t appear to be a grunge fit (although I do love a grungy look). Let me know what you think!! I guess Black Friday is a great name for this look seeing as that I want to go shopping so bad and all the sales have already started lol. Anyhoo, I have a special post on Monday, so be sure to be back here and I will talk to you guys then!!

By Cupcakes!

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Peace and Tranquility (OOTD)

This world can truly get the best of us if we allow it. The traffic, tall buildings, large crowds and daily pressures can all be too much. We can all find ourselves needing to unplug and get away. Sometimes I take a few days from social media to unwind and to find my calm. Being a mom and a wife are not easy and sometimes, the world seems to loom over my shoulders. As a blogger, I know how dedicated one has to be to be growing and successful. You can’t just throw things together because others can detect that. I am very thoughtful when it comes to my blog and I am sincere in every post.

Some may view bloggers, vloggers and Youtube personality as above human but this is hardly the case. In fact, I think as a blogger, being exposed to much criticism can hurt sometimes. We have to be creative and always present original and personalized content. Our goal is to always capture and grab the audience. With all that being said, I needed a moment to refocus and get motivated again. I had been feeling so drab and drowned by other things that I had lost joy…and a some of my determination to keep going on my blog. I took a few days and got inspired by the things around me and to just take in nature. I captured my outfit one of those days and decided to put it into this OOTD with no makeup. Please share how you unwind and what keeps you motivated (besides money and notoriety). Also, let me know what you think about my outfit. A girl still has to be fashionable while relaxing right?! Lol. 

Until tomorrow for a beauty post and Wednesday for a fab ootd

Bye Cupcakes,

Candy.

 

"Baby It's Cold Outside"ย 

If you live anywhere in the north of the country, it’s not warm….even though it’s officially spring. Ugh! This bi- polar weather is so confusing. I want to put up my winter wear but it’s just not time. ย Well, I decided to mix winter and spring with this outfit. Let me know what you think!

Sweater: Vintage (thrifted)

Skirt: Love Culture

Clutch: Turquoise Soul Bags

Glasses: eBay

Trench Coat: Loehmann’s

Shoes: Depop

Turban: BSS

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"Baby It's Cold Outside"ย 

If you live anywhere in the north of the country, it’s not warm….even though it’s officially spring. Ugh! This bi- polar weather is so confusing. I want to put up my winter wear but it’s just not time. ย Well, I decided to mix winter and spring with this outfit. Let me know what you think!

Sweater: Vintage (thrifted)

Skirt: Love Culture

Clutch: Turquoise Soul Bags

Glasses: eBay

Trench Coat: Loehmann’s

Shoes: Depop

Turban: BSS

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Review: Lush "The Greeench" Deodorant

So, I’ve been on the hunt for a great deodorant to replace the normal aluminum based deoderant I’ve been using. The oh so popular aluminum based deoderants are really bad for us but they work so well. They’ve been known to cause cancer and other health issues. Somehow, I was lead to Lush Cosmetics and decided to go in to give their powder deodorant a try. It’s called Greeench. I’ve tried it for a solid week and I have to say that I love it! The tea tree oil extract in this powder deoderant kills the bacteria that can cause the awful armpit smell we all hate. I’ve officially converted to the Greeench for my permanent deoderant. If you’d like to try it, head to a Lush in your area and ask for a sample. The sample can last for about a week depending on how much you use.

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